Moving ahead

Through a series of coincidences, I ended up having coffee with a new friend on Sunday. AP is exactly my age, and came to the US in 2003 from Kosovo. I was able to record our (almost) three-hour conversation with my macbook and a funny-looking snowball microphone, which I refer to as my spaceship mic. I didn't know what I should do prior to our conversation in terms of research, and ended up not doing that much besides figuring out (roughly) how to use the Garage Band program to record. It was a great meeting - I learned so much that I would never hear about just by reading newspapers or watching videos, and I'm full of new ideas for the direction that I want to take with the documentary.

At the end, I gave her a copy of my film treatment. It's just a page and half, and if my blog entries are any indication of my writing style, you might be able to guess that keeping something concise and brief is not my specialty (but I'm trying!). If there's one thing I learned from working at a production company, it's how necessary it is to be able to describe an entire series/film in one page, so after a bit of a struggle (and a deadline that made me do it), I finally got something down that I don't mind showing people.

That being said, it has been very, very strange for me to share my ideas on this documentary with ex-Yugoslavians. The best I can compare it to is the feeling of nervousness that happened when French people would take my (English language) walking tours of Paris. I was never more nervous about my A) pronunciation of French words and B) getting the facts completely wrong (for the record, one particular French family had such a good time on my tour of the Marais, they specifically took all the walking tours my company had to offer). So when I write a documentary treatment describing what it's like to live in a society that has been devastated by war - even though that's not something I have ever done - and I hand it over to a woman who was forced out of her apartment at gunpoint ... that's a bit nerve racking. And obviously, this topic is a lot more serious than whether or not I could properly translate French plaques correctly into English. Anyway, AP read my treatment and told me "you are in the right direction, you are talking about what we (former Yugoslavians) actually think and you are not a Yugoslavian." It meant so much to me to get that feedback, and I feel more motivated than ever to keep this project moving ahead.

Speaking of moving ahead, I came up with even more backup plans and if-this-than-that type of scenarios for my life in Europe, and I'm feeling pretty confident about everything. With just twenty-three days left in Los Angeles, I'm going to try to spend as much time as possible at the office to save up money. This upcoming weekend I'm taking a trip to REI - one of those outdoorsy type stores - for a new backpack (something that will hold my laptop and a few days worth of clothes) and sufficient rain gear for biking around Amsterdam. I have doctors appointments and haircut appointments and dinner plans on the horizon for New York City, and it does finally feel like my time in the US is winding down. That is not a bad thing.

I found a new favorite hobby - looking through "biking in the Netherlands" types of websites. I haven't been on a bicycle in over two months, and it's killing me - spinning classes are a good workout, but not the same thing. I can't wait to bike all over that country and not feel guilty for not wearing a helmet.

Deadlines are approaching

The 15th of March is the deadline for my Binger application - a date that has always seemed very far away, until I realized yesterday that it's only another three weeks! The more I learn about this school, the more I think I'm not qualified enough to make it in, which only makes me want to get in that much more. The biggest part of the problem in getting a good start on the application was how to approach the essays - the questions are simple and annoyingly vague - "the reasons and motivation for applying at this stage in your career" and "your key goals in following the programme." The reason I had a difficult time getting started answering is because there are two options for applying to the Creative Producers Programme- as a producer with a project i.e. participating in the programme with a writer engaged on the Script Development Programme OR as a producer without a project who participates in the programme to develop his/her skills in working with writers and directors while enhancing understandings of dramatic forms, style and structure.

The thing is, I do have an idea, and I'm quite serious about making it happen. However, I also realize that it's just simply not developed enough at this stage to sell anyone else on what it is I want to do (I will come back to this in a minute). It's a nice thought that I could take my brilliant idea to Binger, and they would say "welcome, let us help you realize this!" But realistically? I don't have a writer - I'm the writer. And the film is a documentary, and Binger does not seem to turn out a lot of documentary work. I considered just giving up on the idea of Binger altogether, but then I thought... well, why not go for option two? I mean, option two describes me a lot better anyway. So I am applying as someone without a project who wants to develop my skills. If I get in, whatever I can learn is only going to benefit me.

In the past several weeks, I have been soaking up everything I can (with what limited time I have) on video blogging, and getting a lot of great information from sites like Moment Showing, Ryan Is Hungry, and the Semanal Project. All of these places have links to tutorials for putting video up on the web and making better use of blogging software, and there's just something about this medium that is really, really speaking to me right now. I spoke about this a few weeks ago, and the reason I mention it again is because I'm starting to think of all of the different options I have as a future "documentary filmmaker." I don't need a team of writers to accomplish my goal. The project I want to work on is very, very close to my heart. I want to make it my way - and of course get help as I go along - but I don't necessarily think that workshopping it for 5 months at a school is really something that would help, in the grand scheme of things. My ultimate goal isn't to make money with this film, it's to try and change the world. And it's selfish as well - it's giving me a reason to stay creative and to start taking on more responsibility, and it's the driving force behind me moving back to Europe.

However, it's not going to be my full-time job or my only mission. I also want to work on other video projects, and honestly, I would welcome the opportunity to work on a film that is a bit lighter in subject than what I'm used to thinking about. One of the reasons I chose Amsterdam for my next home is because even just as a visitor in that city, I've noticed the very vibrant, creative, international community of people that populate the area. I know I'll find my place somehow, and as I work on my application to Binger, I'm also thinking about essays I'm going to be writing for graduate schools. I'm thinking about any other skills I might have, like working in tourism (I gave walking tours in Paris for close to a year), that might be worth considering again. I'm thinking about not actually settling down anywhere, but spending 3 months a year in NYC, three months in Sarajevo, six months in Amsterdam or Paris - everything is a possibility right now.

But ideally, Amsterdam will be my home base. And since I have plane tickets that put me there from April 23 - December 22nd, I'm going to have to work on how exactly I'm going to do that without getting deported. I have a plan for that (even if everything else fails) that I will go into in my next post.